UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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