Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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