bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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