Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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