nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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