ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
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