I wish I could punch you in the face.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Randomize
