your room smells of hookers.
And success
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
