That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize