omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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