so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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