did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
