I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
ok first of all what the fuck
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize