yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
