glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
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Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
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I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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