So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
