I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
