love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Randomize
