I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to swaddle you in tequila
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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