She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
