I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
His nipple licking is glorious
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