Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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