oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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