i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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