I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
