i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
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I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
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Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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