apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
