If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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