I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
