dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
and she was petting her beer can
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
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my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
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if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??