So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
23 Ladies Who Have Mastered The Art Of Squirting
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I need water and some morals