dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow