You just made me feel so damn special
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Randomize
