God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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