she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
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she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
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how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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