Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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