dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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