Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
He has the fingertips of a God
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