And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
