i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
