we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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