How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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