Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
