i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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