john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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