I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize