Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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