i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
did i walk over a car last night?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
