I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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