Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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