just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
