rhymes with "ouble enetration"
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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