ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
