READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
