There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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