you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
