He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
