Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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