i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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