So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
