Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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